The Key to a Fulfilling Life

How to connect positively with others.

Which relationships mean the most to you? Why this choice, or these choices? Did you have any significant relationships with adults, including your parents, during your youth? What made those relationships special?

Are you struggling with any relationships at the moment?

Thirteen qualities to build meaningful relationships

Here are thirteen key qualities which will assist anyone wanting to move alongside another person and encourage them to reach their potential. Think of the word: RELATIONSHIPS.

1. Respect: respect both the other person and yourself as unique beings of great self-worth with a positive self-image. Acknowledge their right to make choices. Help them appreciate how every choice has a consequence.
2. Empathy: do your best to place yourself in the shoes of the other person in order to understand them better, a key quality of emotional intelligence to model to those we move alongside. The digital age has caused far too many of our youth (and others) to have little understanding of how to interpret tone of voice, body language, and facial features, as they often embrace a sense of entitlement and instant gratification.
3. Listen: often those we move alongside feel that they are not being listened to, and that their opinions and ideas are neither respected nor valued. Make sure you hear what they say, as well as what they might not be saying. Reflect back to them what you believe they have shared as you model effective communication strategies. It is likely to create a quicker connection with the other person.
4. Attitude: model a positive attitude and how that can impact their choices as they encourage others to step out of their comfort zone and risk possible failure. The well-known saying is worthy of a discussion with others: “Your attitude will determine how high and far you fly (your altitude).” A positive attitude leads to the growth of a positive mindset. Help others to appreciate that they alone are responsible for the attitude they choose.
5. Teamwork: guide others how to become people of positive influence, able to work in teams composed of a variety of cultures, and to tolerate and respect the ideas and opinions of others. Coach them how to positively resolve conflicts which will inevitably arise as team members share ideas and opinions.
6. Innovative: the world of work requires innovative and creative thinking. Encourage those you move alongside to step out of their comfort zone, risk and learn from failure, and never to fear failure as they dare greatly. Look for strengths and name them.
7. Open-minded: be the non-judgmental cheerleader, that wise guide on the side. Accept others as they are. Remain objective — able to look at all sides of an argument or situation as you encourage another person to interact positively with others, and learn to cope with new situations. Coach them how to negotiate with others in a respectful manner.
8. Nurture: create a supportive relationship in which the other person feels cared for, affirmed, and encouraged. Key features to establish this relationship include: be an effective listener, commit to the other person, believe in them, be accessible to them, a consistent presence in their lives, and give of yourself unconditionally.
9. Service: the relationship is about encouraging others— it’s about giving of yourself without expecting any reward; focus on the specific needs and issues of the other person, and not on trying to push your own agenda. It’s also about sharing with others the importance of giving back to their community.
10. Humility: linked to service is the need to model humility at all times, coaching others how to be gracious in defeat as well, and modelling how to look for the good in others to create positive communities.
11. Inspire: Inspire and motivate others to become the best people they can be. Coach them how to set realistic, achievable and measurable goals. They can reach their potential as they come to believe in their own self-worth, and acknowledge that they usually have control over things that happen to them, and how they choose to react.
12. Persevere: never quit on a person you move alongside. Young people, especially, are on a journey through one of the most confusing periods of their lives, searching for meaning and purpose, and will value the significant adult who says: “I believe in you,” or “Come on, we can do this together.”
13. Sincerity: be authentic, a person of integrity at all times. That is, be aware of your innermost thoughts and feelings, accept them and, when appropriate, share them responsibly (self-expression); know yourself (self-awareness), and accept yourself (self-acceptance).

When you focus on developing these key qualities, they guide those you move alongside to develop resiliency, and a positive growth mindset.

Remember, too, to laugh often and coach others how to laugh at themselves, which is such an important life skill.

Be encouraged to build meaningful relationships with others. One kind and encouraging word or action can change the life of another.

Cover Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash